Getting To Know Me

I know this is a cheats way to post...but....to bad! It's my blog and I can do what I please.

So here in no particular order...

I am married to Crocket, and have been for 12 years now.

We have two beautiful girls, one on the brink of teenhood and the other on the brink of insanity.

I love my online name better than my real name.

There were 36 candles on my last birthday cake.

I love biscuits. Choc chip, cream filled, Oreos, shortbread, Tim Tams.

My birthday is May 2.

I am a Taurus.

My lucky number is 8.

I have a wonderful relationship with my parents.

I have one brother who's married and has three children. We don't see each other often.

We have lived in this house for 13 years now.

I would love a tattoo, a dog pawprint on my upper arm (just like I got at Movieworld last year Kandle).

I am teacher / library aide at my daughters school.

I have 2 nieces and 1 nephew.

I have blue eyes with flecks of brown in them and brown hair.

I am terrified of praying mantises.

Most people think I'm organized, but I'm really not.

I love the smell a rain storm.

I love the sound of my children laughing.

I hate cleaning.

I get overwhelmed quickly when I've got too much to do.

If I didn't color my hair I'd be more than 50% grey.

I'm on-line way too much.

I enjoy baking and cooking, I just hate cleaning up afterwards.

I wish I was more patient.

My favorite foods include: lasagna, tacos, cheetoes, chocolate, biscuits, wedges with the works, bacon and chocolate cake.

My favorite day of the week is Monday.

I'm not a big fan of ice cream.

Favorite Drinks: vodka, diet coke and caramel lattes

Favorite Flower: daffodils

Favorite TV shows: Mythbusters, American Chopper, Big Brother

I hate bullies, and people who can't accept responsibility for their own actions.

I am quite bossy.

I suffer from depression.

I would live in my pj's if I could.

I am obsessed with a certain blonde guitarist.

Most of my best friends live far, far away.

I hate surprises!

I love long soaks in a hot bubble bath with a good book, a cold drink and chocolate for company.

I love being a mum.

Ribbon

I HAVE FAR TO

MANY RIBBONS!

Enough said.

De-Stressing

As you all know things are really tough in my life at the moment. A certain situation at work is causing me mega stress and anxiety and I am starting to feel the ill effects of this. I have this headache that won't quit, blurred vision in one eye, my stomach is either cramping or oily, I've peed more times in the past week than I have in the last 36 years, I'm not sleeping well (that's not good from someone who doesn't sleep alot), I'm experiencing panic attacks and my moods are swinging between extreme anger and deep sadness.

On advice from my mum and from one of the ladies I work with I went to the doctors. I spoke to him about it and he told me they are all the symptoms of anxiety! No shit! He said that it is a normal reaction and that apart from giving me sleeping pills to help me sleep there isn't much he can do. I don't want to take pills, I won't take them for my depression and I certainly won't take them to make me sleep.

The doctor advised me to find something that will help me relax and wind down a little. Good advice.....it's just what? Yes I could scrapbook, but I don't usually during the week. I could read but I can't concentrate long enough to get into a story. I could drink myself into oblivion to forget but that's not only expensive it's also not an answer. So what do I do?

What do you guys do to help you relax? I am looking for some inspiration. Tell me!

Bestill My Beating Heart

As most of you know I have a little crush on Bret Domrose. And for those who don't know...it's only a little crush. Bret was the lead singer/guitarist for a band called Dogstar that included Keanu Reeves and Rob Mailhouse. Bret now plays for a new band called The Skies of America, they have just released their first album and are doing a tour across America to help launch it.



The Skies played in Atlanta on Saturday night...and my friend Angel went along for me to check them out and to take a couple of pictures. Well Angel did a whole lot more than that...she took over 60 photos (most of which you will see in my Bret pic of the day at the side there) and she got me this.....

Angel got to meet him and chat with him a while....she asked him if he would sign this pic for her good friend and that is what he wrote to me. Cool huh?

THANK YOU SO, SO MUCH ANGEL....THE THOUGHT THAT THIS IS ON ITS WAY IS BASICALLY ALL THAT IS HOLDING ME TOGETHER THIS WEEK!

Bestill My Spinning Head!

Well I had one hectic weekend..I got lots of scrapping done and managed to do quite a bit of chatting as well. I also receive a lovely surprise from Angel...but more on that later. Lets start with the scrapping.


Jini found my mojo and sent it home just in time for the EMM crop night (Blue I have no idea who's mojo you have but do send it back to its rightful owner before you kill it with over use.)

I didn't complete a single LO at the crop night...but I did get three to near completion. I find I get to the crop and my brain freezes, so I spend most my time chatting to other scrappers. I managed to get four LO's done over the weekend though..so here they are for your viewing pleasure. This is my entry into the Chookscraps Survivor comptetion. The whole LO had to be monochromatic...ugh...what a struggle. I am happy with how it came out though. Oh...and if anyone it interested that big letter A is a Heidi Swapp chipboard alpha...and yes you can run them through a machine and stitch them. LOL

The next three LO's were all completed for the Chookscraps cybercrop challenges. This months cybercrop was Halloween inspired.

Challenge 1 - Make a layout with - *Only white, black and red. You may use metallic embellishments *Two items from the halloween list below: Heidi swapp item, Altered chipboard, Lettering, Lace, Old item purchased more than 12months ago, Wire, Eyelets, Embroidery, or a New item purchased less than two weeks ago. This was my LO....

Challenge 2 - For this challenge make a layout that *Has something to do with a trick or a treat or both. Now the trick or treat could be the subject but it doesn't have to be it may just be that you use the word trick or the word treat somewhere on the page. Think outside the square - as long as you can explain how you have incorporated the trick or treat. *Has one or more triangles on it (this is in honour of the Jack-O-Lantern with his triangle nose and eyes)

Challenge 3 - Was based on a very nice sketch and this is what I did with it....

I still need to tell you all about what Angel did for me this weekend...I was so excited...but it can wait till tomorrow!

Nightmares and Elephants

For as long as I can remember Boo has been a very vivid dreamer. Good dreams or nightmares are in full on living colour for her and are so lifelike that at times she gets confused when she first wakes. This isn't surprising as I also dream this way.

Boo often dreams of elephants. Sometimes the elephants are associated with good dreams but more often than not the elephants are part of her nightmares.

These huge creatures chase my little Boo through empty streets, across grassy plains, through houses, they crowd around her and scare the bejesus out of her.

I used to think it was a little funny...I mean...come on....elephants aren't scary...are they? We would often have a little chuckle that most kids have nightmares about monsters and such, but our little goofball Boo has nightmares about elephants.

I was talking to my friend Sharon about it at work the other day. She is really into dream analogy and she urged me to find out the meaning of dreaming about elephants. I did..and wow! It says a lot about this special little girl.

To dream of elephants:

To see an elephant in your dream, suggests that you either need to be more patient and understanding of others. The elephant is also a symbol of power, strength, and intellect. Alternatively, as a creature with an introverted nature, the elephant may thus be depicting your own personality.

We are constantly being told by Boos teachers that she is exceedingly patient and understanding of her fellow classmates, that she shows an amazing amount of compassion to the child that is being left out, not coping or is just feeling a little blue.

I have always said this girl is an old soul. Right from the get go she had this look of having been here before and she often talks about Crockets great grandparents and how much she misses talking to them. I have strong feelings that Boo has come back this time round to do something special...I don't know what. She has this sparkle, this energy that at times almost zaps out of her. Yes she drives us insane with her constant babble, with the full on energy all the time, with the ability to be the worlds greatest klutz (right up there alongside Aunty Kandle)...yet at the same time she melts us with her kind words, her life giving, melt into your body, back patting hugs and her laughter that is never far from the surface.

Maybe in time she will learn how to control the elephants in her dreams, maybe they are a power animal for her that will stay with her for life....and maybe we should start taking the mystery out of elephants for her. I just wish they wouldn't wake half the house at such ungodly hours....so take note you elephants....LEAVE MY GIRL SLEEP UNTIL AT LEAST 5AM!

How I Spend My Evenings.....

I spent last night having lots of fun with these two items....

Every other Thursday the girls get $2 to spend at the lolly shop here in town. It is a real treat, they get the money and the choice is theirs to make. For Lolly it is usually the same thing each time, but oh how Boo loves the variety, she picks one of this and one of that, two pink pig lollies, one blue cloud, three Chico babies...on and on it goes until she has her $2 spent. The only stipulation I make is no gum! I have issues with kids and gum and my girls very rarely get it. I relented yesterday and let them get one of those tiny gum balls each. You know the ones...they are about the size of a small marble. I said yes and told them that if I saw the gum out of their mouths there would be punishment! I should have known better!

They came home...Lolly stashed half her lollies as she does. Boo scoffed the lot..as she does. She saved the gum ball till last (y0u all know where I am going with this now don't you). All afternoon she is chewing on a piece of gum that I swear is no bigger than your little finger nail. Chew, chew, chew...it was bugging me. All through the homework session, all through dinner preparations, all through reading her readers.

I went to serve dinner up and Boo comes to me in tears, the gum had accidentally fallen out of her mouth and onto the back of her head. I am still not sure how that happened and I am not to sure I want to know. She had managed to spread this tiny piece of gum in a fair sized patch of hair right at the nape of her neck. UGH..that child!

The only thing I could remember was that I had been told that peanut butter gets gum out of hair. So dinner gets put on hold and out comes the jar of peanut butter. I spread that stuff all over the gummed up hair and it worked. Most of the gum slid right on out...I made her sit through dinner with a peanutty head. After dinner I sat her down to work on the biggest matty bit of gummy hair...more peanut butter and the nit comb managed to get to last of it out.

I had to shampoo her hair three times to get the peanut butter out though.

I spent the remainder of the evening telling her she still smelled like peanut butter and that any mice in the house would be coming to feast on her head while she slept. (I never did tell her about the elephants Nat).

That girl is sent to try me I swear!

Lost Mojo!

reward for safe return of my
lost mojo

HELP!! I have lost my scrapping mojo! It up and left sometime over the weekend and still hasn’t returned. It’s left two unfinished layouts on my desk and a stack of project that need to be completed sometime soon. It also has scrapping commitments to uphold this weekend in the form of a cybercrop and a crop night.

If you find it could you please tell it that it’s owner has some new scrap goodies on the way to her house…and that she has some play money this week to spend at the crop night.

I am missing it badly and would like it returned soon.

I offer a reward to anyone that finds it and returns it to me in good condition.

Thank you for your help in this matter!

Sunshine & Light

Ok...I so want to rant today but you guys don't need to hear it two days running. Let just say I am more than a little frustrated with issues arising from the meeting I attended at school last night and we'll leave it at that....for now. Be prepared this post is long and somewhat mushy!

As I told you yesterday Lolly's best friend is moving at the end of this year and Lolly is a little worried that this means it's the end of a friendship. We have been talking about how with today's technology friendships know no boundaries and that just because Karlee isn't physically here there is always email, instant messenger, phone and good old snail mail to help keep the lines of friendship open.

This got me to thinking...yes I have friends here around the town I live in...some good friends, but my best friends...the people I speak to each and every day at some stage are spread far and wide across the world. Kandle, Angel, Blue, Natsay and Jini...you are the ones that I bounce ideas off, that are there to pick me up when I am down, that offer honest and creative criticism, that I share my hopes, thoughts and dreams with. Out of all of you Kandle is the only one I have physically met, I have spoken either via phone or voice chat with Angel and Blue, and good old Yahell keeps us all chatting. Thanks to the magic of the Internet, my horizons not only got wider but it has made the world a smaller place. These friendships span two countries and four states with thousand of miles and a days worth of hours separating us all, yet we make it work.

So while all this is playing in my head (I was "playing" with my year threes at the time) I started smiling to myself...I could mentally see each of you and had a fair idea of what you would be doing at that time of the day where you are. It made me feel grounded and humbled. The five of you each bring something different to our friendships...some are new and some feel as old as time itself but all are important to me. All have been a huge part in my battle against the tide of depression...and all I am extremely thankful for.

Thank you.


PS... The "playing" term is something Lolly used one day to describe my job to someone. Her words were "My mum doesn't work she gets to play with year threes all day" I don't know what the hell she thinks I do in the library. LOL!

Letting Go and Saying Goodbye

Wow it's all been happening around here in the last few days.

Each year we go to Melbourne for Christmas to spend three weeks with my parents. Sadly last year due to Crocketts change of employers and later than normal holidays we didn't get there. Even sadder is the news that we won't get there again this year. You see Crockettss work is in the process of changing location...and has been for the past month. It will be another month before they are on site and manufacturing again. It does not look like they will be getting holidays this Christmas...and with only three of them working on this site it's a little unfair of him to ask. Telling my parents this was...well...difficult.

So on Saturday morning my parents called, the asked if we would consider sending the girls down to them for the week between Christmas and New Years...on a plane....by themselves...they would pay. BIG DECISSION! We have spent all weekend talking this over. We are very hands on parents and our girls are always with us. We stressed over Lolly going to Canberra without us, and she was travelling with people we knew and trusted. This involves two hours in a plane...with neither of us...and with no one we know. We are going to let them do it...they are excited and a little nervous. My parents are extremely grateful and I know how much this means to them. I am terrified of flying and it doesn't help when Crocket watchs shows about air disasters. Hmmmm think he needs to be careful of what he watches around the girls between now and then. So the girls are off early Boxing Day (thats the day after Christmas to you yankees) and they will be back either New Years Eve or New Years Day. I know Crocket and I will miss them terribly but they will have an excellent adventure that will stay with them for a long time. Now just what to do with Crocket for a whole week.......

In other news, my good friend Sharon, mum to Lollys best friend Karlee is moving. Not just to a new place in town...no she has to up and move right across the country! Sharons partner John has been offered work in WA and after long talks at their house this weekend they are going. John will go ASAP and Sharon and the kids will follow at the end of the year. I am so happy for her, she has had it rough being a single mum for the last 5 years, and in John she has finally met someone who treats her and the kids well. She deserves this chance at happiness....it's made us feel a little sad though. Me because I am loosing a friend and workmate that can make me laugh and who is always willing to lend a hand. Lolly is sad because she is loosing her best friend...Lolly is fully aware that she is going to go back to school next year without Karlee...without that moral support. Hopefully she will find someone that can help fill the hole that Karlee leaves behind.

Ok, enough of the melancholy from me, here is a little something to cheer you up!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ay2xUkj9QZA

Books To Share

The other day at school Lolly took part in a nationwide survey of year 6 children to find out what they knew about certain issues, things like drugs and sex and abuse. This raised the question on how and when do you tell your kids about these things. We have always been completely honest with the girls when they have asked...and I will never forget Lolly questioning weather the Bananas In Pyjamas were homosexuals because they slept together or Boos assumption that condoms were like the red wax on the end of organic bananas...but I found these books online the other day...and well they might just be a good investment.

Happy Anniversary Crocket

Twelve years ago today I married my soul mate. We had a small wedding in a friends garden and about 50 friends and family helped us celebrate afterwards. I look at these pictures and I can't help thinking of all that we have been through in the years since they were taken.

I love these photos of us, there weren't posed...the photographer caught us in a quiet moment after the actual ceremony. I can't remember what was being said but I know how I felt. I still feel like that these day...I look at him and feel that familiar thrill, but it's different. This is the man that I wake up to each day, he is my comfort, my rock, my sanity in the storm I battle each day....and he also has the ability to drive me insane. Ahhh...true love.

Crocket isn't one for fancy words of love or for huge displays of affection...but I see the look he is giving me in these photos still and I know that I am loved.

Happy anniversary my gorgie boy!

To Apply or To Not Apply - That is the Question

Ok...So you all know me and how I can't make a decision without giving it a lot of thought (and discussion). I have been pondering over a decision for a few days now and I am still no closer to making a decision..So I am leaving it up to you lot.

First the question -

SHOULD I APPLY FOR A POSITION ON CHOOKSCRAPS DESIGN TEAM?

Now the arguments for and against...

For:

• I feel I can honor the commitment
• I know I love my work
• I can help out with the site (hey I already do this)
• there has to be more but right now my head isn't in that space

Against:

• Is my work good enough?
• Can I handle another thanks but no thanks letter?
• Would it be disloyal to a certain new scrap shop owner that I am supporting?
• Could I use the stuff that I got sent every month? What if it doesn't inspire me?

You are all probably sitting there laughing at me...but these are real thoughts running in my head...and I have had enough. You guys are going to be my decision makers. If you all agree that I should do it...reply to this post...and give me good reasons on why I should or shouldn't do it.

The choice is yours!

Hormones

Hormones are running rampant in this house at the moment. Lolly is right on the edge of becoming a full blown teen, and we are getting a glimpse of what the teen years are going to bring. It's all sunny smiles and tomboyish behaviour one minute and the next it's girly stuff and tears, tantrums and trauma. It's going to be fun...yeah right. Expect full sympathy from Angel and Natalie...and am sending out a warning to Jini of what she has to look forward to.

Lolly has never shown much intrest in boys before, unless you count the creepy crushes she had on Tobey McGuire and Frankie Muniz a couple of years ago. And for the most part we didn't think she had taken much notice as she was to much of a tomboy, but man did we have our eyes opened the other night. We were watching this clip on the country music channel....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2iBxG-Jtgk0

When a very glassy eyed Lolly says, "Damn....that song should be called No Shoes, No Shorts, Not A Problem". We all just cracked up! It seems her latest crush is Kenny Chesney. I must admit...she certainly has gotten better taste in the last few years.

I think some of the hormones have jumped ship and landed on Boo as well. The bratling has got a boyfriend. Shhhhhhh...don't say anything to her though, she is a little sensitive about it. It's all very sweet. Harley is all she talks about at the moment and according to Harley's mum he is full of chatter about Kate. They have been in a little trouble in class and have had to have their desks seperated due to the non stop talking and giggling, but to see them in action in the playground...well it's very cute.

Crocket and I are sooooo not looking forward to when the full on boy thing starts. I think he's a little more worried than I am, but for now I think we still have a few good years before it gets full on....I HOPE!

I'm Baaaaaaaack!

After a little nagging and a lot of gumption I have decided to get off my lazy butt and start blogging..AGAIN! This is my third (and hopefully my last) attempt and I will try to be good and update it regularly. Pffft! I need to thank Angel for helping me get that slidey thingy up above here and the links in the sidebar over there. I've learnt that I know nothing at all about HTML, and that I have no intrest in knowing about it! LOL.